Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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