Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
