3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
