My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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