enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
