I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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