we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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