I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Less talking, more tequila
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
