just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Damn victory sex feels great
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
