If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Randomize