I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
