I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
