Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
