If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
