She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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