God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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