Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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