At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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