whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
