Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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