false alarm. still invincible.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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