if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
