Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just want to make out with him forever
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
