I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
