You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
