he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
