The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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