we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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