Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
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If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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