Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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