where does the pee come out of this thing
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
