I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
