So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
40s are totally the cure
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
