How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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