in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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