If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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