May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
please come you make the beer taste better
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
