so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
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Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
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woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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