i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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