this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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