Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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