Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
