Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i dont even know how to be here
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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