Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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