you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
