i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Brb crying the tears of my youth
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
