girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
