so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
