How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
