once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
