If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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