You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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