Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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