whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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