i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she peed on how many people?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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