Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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