listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
