dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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