i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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