you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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