I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
