I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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